The Value of Family Time
Posted by Jeri on February 16, 2010
Today I had a lot of fun chatting with Hannah. She was helping me make our homemade tortillas, which the whole family loves. It’s a shame they’re so time-intensive, except for the fact that I got to spend time with Hannah while we made them today. It sure is a lot more fun doing work with someone else.
She is getting old enough that we can actually carry on a decent conversation now. We chat while we do dishes, bake, drive in the truck, and garden. I don’t even have to ask all the questions. While we were rolling out our tortilla dough, we had this conversation:
Hannah: What was your job before?
Me: You mean, before I had kids?
Hannah: Yeah.
Me: I was a teacher. (I’ve told her that a hundred times, but I guess she wanted to hear it again.)
Hannah: So you had to teach every day?
Me: Well, just Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
Hannah: (with a devastated look and tone of voice) You mean the kids didn’t get to have a Family Day?
Me: (fumbling around for the right words) Well, I’m sure they could have a Family Day on Saturday or something. But, … well, ummmmmmm… lots of people in America probably don’t even have a Family Day because they’re too busy.
Hannah: (stunned silence)
In that moment, I was reminded why we are so blessed to live here in PNG at this point in our lives. Every Friday we have “Family Day”. It’s one of Craig’s ‘weekend’ days, since he works on Sundays. We spend the day as a family.
Some of our favorite Family Day traditions include: a family walk (which we do many other days of the week as well), a picnic (sandwiches or leftovers) on the porch for lunch, homemade pizza and coke (our only pop for the week!) while we watch a movie for supper.
This may not sound all that exciting to you, but it’s a BIG deal to us and to the kids, especially. If we even try to change something they remind us of what we usually do.
I’d like to think that we are building a strong family because of this and other activities we do together. We want our family to know that we are important to each other. I hope we can continue these traditions as our children get older.
It made me get a little nervous thinking about how things will change when Hannah starts schooling. How will we find time together as a family? It just makes me wonder how families in North America survive. We have such a slow pace of life here because we don’t go out in the evenings and we don’t have the hectic schedule that most people in North America do. For that, I am very grateful.
How do you find time to spend with your family, especially when you have school-aged children? What kinds of things do you do together?
I keep up with your family on your blog. I enjoy reading about your life in PNG.
In regards to your question about Family Day…
We kept Family Day very well while we lived in Kisumu, the kids were younger, they were home schooled or just went to a local school in the morning. Our Family Day was always Monday. Larry would be so tired after long days on Sunday. Also churches seemed to want him to come and teach more on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. We usually went to the local club in town where we were members. There was a swimming pool, playground, squash and tennis courts and a small restaurant. It was very relaxing and our kids all loved it. We also discovered that taking a Family Day and staying home in Kisumu was impossible due to the ‘gate ministry’ that missionaries in rural areas all seem to have to deal with.
After we moved to Nairobi and the kids were in a real school five full days a week, Family Day got to be a little more challenging. Being in the city meant that Larry did more work in the evenings and on Saturdays and Sundays which is when the kids were home. So we finally came up with the plan that whenever they had a school break we would go away somewhere for at least a night or two, and longer on longer breaks. We saw a lot of the Kenyan countryside that way. We bought a book that detailed day trips from Nairobi and really got off the beaten path sometimes. Sopmetimes we stayed in hotels, sometimes we rented a cabin, sometimes we camped. Then Larry and I discovered bird watching and that made those trips even more enjoyable. But we also discovered that once they were all in school we were able to take a whole day to ourselves every week. It was a huge deposit every week in our marriage.
So be creative. As your family grows what you do for Family Day will probably change. Enjoy each season. They grow up so fast.
Grace and peace, Diane
Thanks, Diane, for your insight. You have wonderful children who also value family time, so I know you definitely did something right.
I guess raising a family will be a growing and changing process forever.
Diane is right…you have to get creative as they get older. Partly because of time, partly because what is unthinkable to change now may, indeed, one day be actually “boring.” Kids change, and with them traditions. I have had that happening a lot and wrote some about it in my blog. We have some non-negotiable family traditions, others, however, are ones I have to give on as the boys age and outgrow some things.
Right now we eat dinner together every night we can (which still includes most nights) and Friday night is pizza and movie night. Sprinkled in are spontaneous dates with one of us and one of the boys. Also, Mark drives Aaron to school every morning. That 15 minutes uninterrupted and alone is precious to them both. So much so that when I discovered a neighbor with whom I could carpool, I was severely warned not to mess with the morning drive! Mark also picks Noah up once a week from school and they go get a donut together.
When things get so busy that we don’t get to have dinner together as often, one or both the boys will point out that we need to get back to that. Often that happens around the beginning of HUGSR semesters because of the special evening events that take place. But we always get back on track.
I don’t know how things will morph in our family time in the coming years as Aaron enters High School, but I agree with you and Hannah that family time is too essential to give up. I may have to adjust to different schedules and demands, but we will have time together.
Besides, I love them all too much and enjoy hanging out with them too much to let them all just go their own ways!
Christine´s last blog ..Two Taunting Ten Year Olds
Beautiful blog full of pictures!